You’ve all heard the saying that someone is the red headed stepchild, right? The one kid that no one likes or treats differently than the rest…. At my job, I am officially the red headed stepchild, and it is getting REALLY FUCKING OLD!
Yes, I am the newest member of the ‘team’ and yes I am fresh out of school, but I have the same job title as some of the other people that I work with and to me that gives us equal rank. I realize that they have been here longer than me and that they have been in the career longer, but that doesn’t mean that they are more capable than me. You would think that someone that is fresh out of school you would want to help mentor or even listen to suggestions because I am not jaded (yet!) and I have a lot of ideas that could be really awesome if someone would give me a chance.
I recently got moved to a new campus within the same institution. The librarian that already works here is awesome and very encouraging, but he is also seen as a red headed stepchild because he complains. He only complains when something needs to be fixed because no one is ever on the ball to get shit done. They just drag their feet and assume he will forget about it or something. Either way, he is really encouraging me to go out and meet with faculty (no one else wanted me to) and start making more connections. I also took it upon myself to get the library’s name out in the social media world. I started a blog and it was awesome. I worked on it all week trying to get everything put together and this morning I went back to check some stats so I could send out an email about how many followers I had gotten and how many comments, etc. in the course of the week. They knew on Monday that I had put it together. Well, they deleted it. Didn’t even tell me they were going to and then they just did it. All my hard work and effort just vanished and all I got was an error message. I started getting really upset, naturally. I thought I had done something. So the two women librarians came to this campus to sit down and talk with me about how I violated a school policy in building the blog. I was not aware of the policy and I wasn’t in trouble for it, but that is why they took it down. Could you not let me know this BEFORE you fucking deleted it? I mean COME ON! I only worked my ass off on it for a week! And maybe I would have wanted to save some of the things I wrote. But I can’t. They are scattered in the wind of the internet now and I can no longer view them. I was then told that I would be contacted on a weekly basis, from the two women who have the same technical rank as me, and told what my next project will be. TOLD. Not asked, but TOLD. You know what my first project is? Going through the VHS collection and seeing if they make them on DVD now. I’m sorry, but that isn’t my job. That is what the librarian in collection management does. That is her duty. Then they told me I would always have a research guide to work on. And while that is true, do you expect me to spend my ENTIRE summer, 40 hours a week for 11 weeks, reworking guides that no one even fucking uses? What in hell is the point in that? Yes, they do need work, but come on! I have talent. I am WELL educated. I am MORE educated than some of them. I am more useful than they are allowing me to be. But I have an ace up my sleeve and I am working on playing my card.
There is a thing that librarians are supposed to do in an academic library. That thing is called outreach. That means contacting faculty and see what they think the library needs and where the holes are and see what we can do for them. Try and get them to bring their classes to the library and use the resources that we have. I have worked in one other library and the librarians there did it all the time. The librarians that I work with now, with the exception of the other red head, don’t do shit. So, I have been emailing various faculty and department heads about sitting down and meeting with them about what the library can do for them. I had my first one today, 3 more on Monday and 1 more on Wednesday. I am trying to get others involved, but I can’t make people email me back. Either way, I am making waves and they don’t know that it is about to happen. I am going to have SOOOOOO much to bring to the table in May when we have our staff meeting. I’m going to blow them all out of the water with my initiative and the suggestions that I am working on. I don’t like being under appreciated. I don’t like being thought of as someone who has no fucking clue what is going on in the world. I guarantee that I know more about the new waves in librarianship than they do! I read all the time. I make it a point to keep up with new things and I guess everyone assumes that I am just a big retard or something. (Pardon my use of the non-PC term retard.)
I just don’t get it though. How can people that are expected to be a functioning team be so hateful and make someone feel so irrelevant. I know it isn’t like this in most places. I am also aware that not all people are good. But as a team, as co-workers, and peers shouldn’t there be some level of respect? I mean, they obviously don’t respect me. They think my skills are pointless and shouldn’t be utilized in any form or fashion. Why am I even working here? I mean, damn, why have I even started building any kind of relationship with any of these people? I suppose they shipped me off over here so I can be shut up in an office all day and not do anything relevant. Hell, the least you could have done was give me a compliment sandwich when you told me I was int he wrong. I accept that I was but I don’t accept the way it was presented to me. That really gives me a poor impression of their management skills and lack of respect for others.
Oh well. I’m done ranting. I’m mentally exhausted and I really want chocolate.