Classes here at the CC are wrapping up. Thank the sweet sweet Lord. That means I have to make it through 4 days next week and a half day tomorrow. I’m so excited to have a couple weeks off. I enjoy the people I work with and I enjoy spending 40 hours a week with them, but it will be nice to not see them anymore. It will also be so nice to not have to deal with buying gas so frequently. Being this close to the new year I am working on some things that I plan on doing for myself. I am working on finding a real, legit job (not one that is a contract like the one I currently have). I don’t so much care where I have to go for that job. I have determined that maybe staying in the area isn’t the right choice for me, despite my network and such. I am a wanderer at heart and I need to wander. I want to be able to have a job that I leave for the weekend and go have a crazy adventure somewhere. I want to get back to Europe. I need it really. I want to be surrounded by the old and the ancient and be surrounded by people that are new and that don’t actually know me or understand me. I need adventure. I need to get roots that hold me in place while I spread my wings. This week I am working on letting go of some people and some things. My horoscope said I had built a wall around myself and I need to work on breaking it down. I agree with it. I have a big stupid wall and I want it to come down. I’m cutting the emotional ties I have to him so I can actually thrive again. The next one will be the one that doesn’t treat me badly or take me for granted.
Also in the new year I am going to work on having fun. I don’t so much care if people are with me when I have that fun, but I am going to learn to have fun by myself and be alone again. I spent a huge part of my life alone and I have in recent years forgotten how to be. I’m not getting any younger and my life seems to be rushing by. I can’t even begin to grasp how much has already gone. I also hope that learning to have fun again will help me meet new people. I want to surround myself with new things and new experiences. I love my friends and I love what we do together, but sometimes you just need something fresh. I need fresh in every aspect of my life right now. Work is fine, its not going to get much more fresh, but the rest of my life I can. I need a place of my own, a place to call mine where I am not going to move from for a good long while (I’m so SICK OF MOVING!). I guess there is just so much I want to see and do that I am tired of sitting and waiting for it to happen. I didn’t used to have the money for things to happen. I have to get out of some debt in order to do what I want (basically pay off my credit cards! I’m going to finish paying them off by Feb).
Well, it is about time for me to go to lunch so I should probably wrap this up. I am excited about the new year and the new beginning. I’m going to let the past rest and not dwell over bullshit things that I have a tendency to dwell over. Going to focus on me. And I’m going to rock as hard as I can. Have a great Holiday Bloggers. I am sure I’ll be back before too long!