I have my cup of coffee on this bleak Saturday morning. Eating my breakfast of peanut butter sandwich and pomegranate seeds. Law and Order is on the in the background while I write this. I am getting back on my diet and exercise program today. I have a new goal of losing 30lbs by my birthday (which is 4 months from tomorrow) and it is completely doable! I’m pretty excited about getting back in the game. I wanna shape up my body. It needs to happen. It will be hard to get my 50 minutes of exercise in during the week when I’m working, but I will be done with work in 9 business days. Then we’re closed for the holidays. I need to be good to myself. I want the rest of my life to be happy and healthy.
I was out at the bar with my best friend the other night. She is a beautiful girl, I’ll be honest. She doesn’t act like she knows it and is always sincere when people tell her she is and thanks them. We were in the car on the way home and she told me that I know I’m hot and other people see it. I don’t think I’m super hot, but I am confident in myself and my abilities. I am a smart girl with a lot to offer people and I realize that, but I don’t think I’m as pretty as she is. I do think I’m far more confident. I want to be more physically attractive to others and mostly myself. This is why I want to take better care of myself and become the butterfly that I am on the inside.
There are so many things I want out of life, but I don’t want anything more than being happy with myself. I am a little scared that once I get to where I want to be (which is truthfully a size 12) that I’ll be a different person. I really like who I am. My personality, my values, my morals (even though I question them sometimes), my actions, and all that are pretty great. Besides, I am tired of being the fat friend. While most of my friends don’t see me like that, and it makes me so happy that they don’t, but I am over it. Time to get the rest of me together.