I had a great time last night hanging out with some old friends. I had to make a cameo at 2 parties, and did just that, but I honestly wish I hadn’t made time for the 2nd one. It was pretty lame by the time I got there, but I said I was going so I did. First party was great though. Aside from my friend’s dad being super wasted and causing problems. At one point I was sitting on the porch with a girl I met there (she was super nice and made a banging apple pie!) and my friends father. He is in his 60s probably. He was also highly intoxicated. He started hitting on me. Telling me that I didn’t know what God had blessed me with. I assured him that I had. Then he told me that he had a heater in his truck and he could lay it down for me so we could get busy. Apparently, I was all he needed. With my voluptious body and all that. It was super funny and super uncomfortable. The other girl was just sitting there dumbfounded. Her jaw was on the floor. He eventually crossed the line hardcore when he started being much more vulgar (that part I don’t so much remember). And when my friend came out, I told him that he might be calling me mommy one day. I had to be a good sport about it. It was too horribly awkward for me not to. lol. It was good to see the kids that I don’t get to see much anymore. They all have some beautiful children! And the food was amazing! Chicken stew, BBQ, and apple pie. Dear god. Couldn’t be more amazing. So after I had been there about 3 hours I got a call from my best friend saying she was making her way over to her Ex boyfriend’s dad’s party. So I made my way down the street to meet her there. They were literally 1.5 miles apart.
I get to the second party. There were a decent amount of people there, but they all seemed to be leaving. I met my bestie who had to be at a previous engagement that night for her step sister’s wedding. We sat around the fire, drank some home brewed beer (it was excellent) and some sangria (also amazing) and had some snacks. We sat there for about an hour, she got drunker, I was pretty stone sober, and when midnight rolled around, the exboy said he was going home (this was his dad’s party). So he made his way telling the remaining people goodbye. My bestie was pretty hammered and she couldn’t drive, so she ended up going home with her X. I think its funny because she made it such a big deal. I knew she wanted to go home with him. And all she had to do was say, but she was drunk so it was a big deal. It made sense. She kept saying she wanted to go to bed, but she couldn’t drive, and she didn’t care where the bed was. I think she just needed some attention after the ordeal with her step sister and the wedding. Ain’t no harm in that!
One thing that i enjoyed last night was when people i hadn’t seen in a while asked me how things were going in my life. I couldn’t help but say they are going well. Things are good. Yes, not every aspect of my life is amazing but for the most part it is. I have a job. I have a car. I have a roof over my head and food in my gut. I have amazing friends and family. I have a man who cares about me (maybe its not the way I want, but he does care). Yes I would like things to be a bit different, but in the end things are good and I am incredibly thankful for that. I am also thankful for the days that I am successful and when I feel appreciated. I am thankful for the support that I get from my friends and family, as well as, all their encouragement. I need to remember these things more. I need to learn to wrap myself up in these things and keep them in perspective in the back of my mind. Sending out positive love and light in hopes that it will find its way back into my life. Happiness is what I need to strive for now days, instead of waiting and being upset that I am not getting what I think I want. Maybe what I want isn’t what is supposed to happen, right? I need to figure out how to stay in the positive instead of always thinking about the negative. This has always been a struggle for me and I think it is high time to focus on it. In this spare time that I want to be with the boy, or struggling with my own inner demons–its time to fight for me. I am the only person I have for life, right? So why wouldn’t I? These are all things to think about and focus on instead of worrying about superficial shit that has been plaguing my mind as of late.
On that note I need more coffee! And to get this beautiful day started!